The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.
(I am still living it down.)
I found a list of uncommon and very specific, relatable words a while ago that seem to fit the bill.
Monachopsis - the subtle but persistent sensation of being out of place.
I really am trying. I just can't help feeling that I'm lying to myself. I don't want to be with someone and think constantly of someone else, but I cling to the reality that I've squandered the ultimate opportunity and can only hope that looking into the eyes of another will help me let go. I want to live in the now.
I'm tired of the infinite battle storming through my head. A jouska of anechdoche. I tell myself that I'm teaching myself the ultimate lesson in life, but more often I just feel sorry for myself.
Ellipsism - the sadness of knowing you'll never know how history plays out.
On another note, my trip to Yosemite was filled with vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist. Absolutely hands down the most gorgeous park I've ever been to.
